Twas the night before...

     Tick Tock! Tick tock! Well we are in count down mode as we get to see Talia in person! Well my hubby does and I get to Skype and see her in Todd's arms at 3:00 am (my time )tonight! He finally gets to touch her sweet face and see that gorgeous smile! I can hardly imagine her little personality. Unfortunately, the reality is her foster parents also have the same clock ticking away. In a few hours it will be last time they get to see the little baby girl they took care of for two years. Talia's referral file said she was not thriving in the orphanage and basically wilting away at one years old. After her month long hospital stint Grace & Hope Foundation placed her in foster care and the one on one care literally saved her life. They taught her how to walk, climb on things, roll over, eat well, talk, etc. Imagine that,  for all of you that have been blessed with biological children. Just think for a moment how that would feel to have someone else teach your child everything that a child under three typically learns or experiences, even consoling them when they fall down. Every night for two years they put her to sleep. I never forget when Harper came to us for months she sang a sweet song as she fall asleep. She eventually lost her Chinese language and doesn't remember the song but she still likes to be sung to at night. The things Talia's foster family taught Talia will stay with her for a lifetime. I am certain they shared many joys with her and milestones such as putting her  first two words together , throwing a little ball or writing with a crayon, even if it was on the wall!  Wait until she is home and finds out that we don't allow crayons on our wall! ha!

     We are so grateful to her foster family. There are no words I could ever tell them that would encompass all that they mean to us and will always will mean to our daughter. They were literally her mother and father for two years. How can you ever repay someone for that? For the foster family's gift we sent a picture album of Talia's new home, our family and some pictures I have a Talia for her to hold dear for years to come.  I mean you can't really ever repay someone for caring for your child and being their mother and father. The gifts don't seem adequate enough but just a small gesture of our love for them. I pray that their broken hearts are mended and hope they know we will give her the best life possible. Of course there is another set of parents, or at least a mother, that for the rest of her life will grieve the loss of her daughter. I love this picture taken from a wonderful book called, "Motherbridge of Love". There is also a great poem with it. I talk about "China Mama" almost daily with Harper and when I saw this picture I knew it would help her understand that she will always be a part of her biological mother. I tell her that she has the same blood pumping throughout her body and that her parents loved her so very much! I tell her that her heart was made by her biological parents and that she was born from my heart! When she sees the picture she always says, "Mommy I can feel her hair when I touch mine"! She is only three too! My super smart girl! It just melts my heart but Todd and I grieve as much as Harper and Talia grieve for their biological parents. On Harper's birthday we always put an extra red candle on her cake not for good luck but to honor her biological mother that gave her life.

 One gave you a nationality,
 The other gave you a name.
 One gave you the seed of talent,
 The other gave you an aim.

 One gave you emotions,
 The other calmed your fears.
 One saw your first sweet smile,
 The other dried your tears.

 One gave you a family,
 It was what God intended for her to do.
 The other prayed for a child,
 And God led her straight to you.

 And now you ask me
 Through your tears,
 The age old question through the years.
 Heredity or environment…
 Which are you a product of?

 Neither, my darling… neither,
 Just two different kinds of love.

     So today has been a teary eyed day. One minute I am excited and the next minute I am crying. I can't seem to get this song out of my head today and I hope it doesn't mean Talia will be crying for days! I wish I could be there to comfort her when she first walks in Todd's hotel room. (Put my playlist on pause below)

    Harper and I sing this song a lot and it really reminds me of the struggles we encountered on this adoption and sometimes the opposition.  We knew we were doing what we were called to do. We are totally "okay" if our life choices don't make sense to anyone else because leaping out in faith is risky and uncomfortable. It means we are living by faith not our own personal desires. Our time here on earth is very limited and every decision, every action, every life matters. There is no time to wonder what would happen to this child if I did not step forward! You need to act and not wonder. Do not be afraid for He is with you always...just listen to His whisper. I am so thankful for the encouragers we had along the way! May the Lord bless you for your generosity and love.

    Well Todd is now in Guangxi. He had some funny stories to tell me and we skyped last night when he was in Hong Kong and this morning when he arrived in Nanning. It is hard to be apart but now we are on countdown mode and I think panic has set it. He seemed in good spirits but I know needed to rest. I actually think he is sleeping better then me. My sleep is broken with getting up to be awake on his time zone and then dealing with Harper bug in the middle of the night! We sorted through some things and he is going to Skype me again before he goes out with his guide, David, to exchange money and buy some "Chinese" things for Talia at the Walmart! Talia is now coming to his room! The guide told Todd that the government building is too hot for babies so she has to come to the hotel! Ha! We were more then ecstatic to get this news as it is a more intimate setting. Todd was arranging the room to make it "Talia proof" when I last talked with him. Not sure I will get any sleep tonight and this is okay I want to remember every minute of this journey! The experience is so powerful and overwhelming! Only moments that God can provide and I feel so blessed today as we welcome our 2nd daughter into our arms. I don't know what I did to deserve God's grace, his provision and my wonderful family but I am so thankful that he gave me this incredible life to serve Him.